Flash Fiction
“What? Did you not remember anything I said? I told you to get the creamy peanut butter, not the chunky!”
“But …”
“You never listen to me! I bet you picked up the wrong bread too.” She peered into the bag again. “It’s plain white. I need gluten-free bread for when your sister visits tomorrow!”
Her husband threw up his arms. “I …”
“You what?”
“Did you get the car washed today?” he asked.
“No, but I …”
“See then! You think I don’t listen?”
A second bag sat at her feet. Everything was there.
“That other bag is for the food pantry,” he said.
“And I had the car washed yesterday.”
“Only mouths are we,” she thought. “Who sings the distant heart which safely exists in the center of all things?”
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This was part of a prosery challenge for DVerse. The challenge was to write a short piece of fiction under 144 words that contained this line of poetry from Rainer Maria Rilke, “Only mouths are we. Who sings the distant heat which safely exists in the center of all things?”
This is incredibly evocative. You describe the fragility of relationships so beautifully here. You see, the thing that most people out there forget is that human beings aren’t perfect. We mess up, we mess up big time and we tend to do it a lot. That being said, it’s the bonding between two individuals that gets them through. I so loved this prose piece. Thank you so much for writing to the prompt 💝💝
Thank you for your thoughtful and thorough comment. 🙂
I feel like I’ve had that fight before, where nothing can go right, and everything is a tragedy.
Frustrating, right? I like to think both characters learned from the situation. 😛
What a great metaphor for the prompt! It is so well done.
Thank you so much. 🙂
👏 Susan 👏
Thank you, Ben. 🙂
My pleasure, Susan❣️
BTW, please feel free to call me ‘David’. – That’s my first name. The Hebrew word ‘ben’ means ‘son of’, and my father’s name was ‘Alexander’. That’s why I decided to use ‘ben Alexander’ as a pen name <3
Sincerely,
David
Ah, yes. I do know about that meaning of ben, but still thought you could have been Benjamin Alexander. Thanks for letting me know what I should call you — David. 🙂
I know it’s confusing, Susan, sorry about that! BTW, I grew up in East Brunswick – where are you from?
<3
David
Northern NJ, Essex County. (I don’t want to make my exact location public.)
My mom currently lives in Princeton (she sold our EB house after my father died), and my brother’s in Philly.
Well, it’s nice to meet someone with some New Jersey connections.
Oh yes, many an argument can be avoided by avoiding assumptions!
Thank you, Ingrid. That was the idea. 🙂
I vote for dear husband! Great write!
Thank you, Helen. 🙂
Nicely done! A great take on the difficult prompt!
Thank you. It was a bit tricky, but sometimes a challenge is good. 🙂
It sounds like they don’t need marriage counseling (yet)
Ha ha. Hopefully not. 🙂
I certainly hope they’ve both learned from this! 😀
Thank you Merril. 🙂
You’re welcome!