15 Times Cake Writers Wrote Literally Every Word of Instruction

it's a bowling birthday party (1)

The following list of cake writing disasters may inspire you to support literacy programs near you.

1.

Suzanne
Source: guff.com

The mistake of writing down the specific instructions in addition to the actual message is bad enough. The word “underneath” has been murdered, split in two with the end chopped off.

2.

Twittercake2
Source: John O’Farrell on Twitter.com

Was this really hard to understand? Does anyone walk into a party and say, “Happy 50th Birthday! Oh, and, by the way, comedy/tragedy masks.”

3. 

wendy-lu
Source: Justpo.st.com

So, there are, apparently, at least two people in the world who agree on an alternate spelling of “underneath” and also think it is a good idea to write “under neat that” on a cake. Notice the sprinkles are also spelled out in writing rather than being, you know, actual sprinkles.

4. 

cake-fail-last
Source: GeorgeDuranEats on Twitter

Apparently, he or she was told to write nothing on the cake. Maybe, they thought “Nothing” was the occasion of celebration? Sometimes, you just want cake for no reason in particular. Happy Nothing to you.

5.

babycarrots
Source: TNI Press LTD

There are so many things wrong with this cake that it’s hard to know where to begin. Congrats has a strange consonant ending and is now a possessive. Underneath once again has a strange spelling.  Would I find this spelling on Urban Dictionary? The “and” has a very confusing placement, and I’m not sure why Don or Dan’s name is in quotes. Also, there are naked babies with mohawks riding carrots.

6.

cake (1)
Source: Reddit

Would there be any reason to write that second line? Is it a command as in, “Be as small as possible” or a statement “(You are) as small as possible”?

7. 

happybirthdaycomma
Source: dailypicdump.com

How can someone who can write words so neatly not understand them?

8.

InFrench
Source: cakewrecks.com

“Bon Anniversaire!” Instructions probably should have spelled this one out for the bakery, but, on the other hand, there is Google Translate.

9.

jenny-c-ow-birthday-balloons-literal-lol
Source: Imgur

Is it possible that some of these cake writers just have a sense of humor and are playing pranks, hoping for viral photos?

10.

literal-cakes-th
Source: Imgur

Is that request for the birthday recipient or for all of the guests at the party? Where’s the giant birthday card?

11. 

lowercase
Source: smosh.com

These seniors are graduating and don’t want to think about English homework instructions.

12.

where-apparently-it-shall-remain-photo-u4
Source: cakewrecks.com

Now, the birthday recipient will wonder what sort of special picture he or she received as an unusual gift … not a framed picture, mind you, just a picture on a flashdrive.

13.

StateofTexas
Source: cakewrecks.com

Well, that’s one way of putting it on there.

14. 

cake-wrecks-happy-birthday-spanish
Source: cakewrecks.com
Feliz cumpleaños!

15.

whitebig
Source: Meme Guy

Did the person think “White Big” was a nickname? The person ordering the cake just wanted “Happy Birthday” written in big letters.

Ah well. The moral of this story is, be very careful when ordering your cake.

Joshua Fit the Battle of Cherry Coke and 13 Other Misheard Lyrics

it's a bowling birthday party (1)

  1. “Joshua Fit the Battle of Cherry Coke”
CherryCoke
Photo by Ashley Kirk on Unsplash

Some child heard “Joshua fit the battle of cherry Coke” instead of “Joshua fit the battle of Jericho.” The battle at Jericho was pretty unusual, but this kind of battle sounds more like a cafeteria food fight. I don’t know where this is found in the Bible. Hhhmmm….

2. “Caribou Quick!” 

Caribou
Photo by Thomas LeFebvre on Unsplash

At a party, a friend of mine shared how he always heard the lyrics, “Caribou quick” in the song “Caribbean Queen” by Billy Ocean. That changes the meaning, just slightly. Caribou are often the subject of ’80s R&B songs, right? We could probably fill an album on contemporary songs of the caribou … or maybe Wayne Brady could. It probably helped the storytelling that my friend had to make antlers with his hands while he sang the lyrics.

3. “Ooh! Boppa Retta!”

Ooh!BoppaRetta!

When I was a child, I sometimes heard Sade’s “Smooth Operator” when out in public places. For years, I thought the repeated line, “Smooth Operator” was “Ooh! Boppa Retta!” I guess I thought it was like jazz scat singing or some nonsense syllables like “Rama Lama Ding Dong.” I don’t remember how I was finally enlightened.

4. “This is the dawning of the Age of Asparagus!”

AgeofAsparagus
Photo by Christine Siracusa on Unsplash

These lyrics were heard in place of “Age of Aquarius” in the Fifth Dimension song by that title. That is an age that a lot of veggie-fearing children would dread.

4. “Got along with Starbucks lovers”

GirlwithStarbuckscoffee
Photo by guan lee on Unsplash

This one is heard instead of “got a long list of ex-lovers” in the song “Blank Space” by Taylor Swift. Who wouldn’t get along with a Starbucks lover? Maybe someone who prefers Dunkin’ Donuts coffee instead.

5. “I wanna try like a beagle.” 

manholdingbeagle
Photo by Ionut Conan Photographer on Unsplash

This was heard in place of “I Wanna Fly Like an Eagle” in the Steve Miller Band song by that name. Everyone knows that beagles try hard. Most of them are probably trying hard to catch squirrels, although one famous beagle, Snoopy, does dance and fly a plane and other impressive accomplishments.

6. “A pink pair of dice”

carwithfuzzydice
Photo by Markus Spiske on Unsplash

This was heard instead of “They paved paradise” and then followed by “and put in a parking lot” in “Big Yellow Taxi” by Joni Mitchell. Well, a pair of fuzzy dice might be seen in a parking lot, but that’s the only connection I see.

7. “I just died in your barn tonight, mustard no mayonnaise instead.”

mustardmayonnaiseandketchup
Photo by Fancycrave on Unsplash

This was heard in place of “I just died in your arms tonight. It must have been something you said,” in the song “I Just Died in Your Arms Tonight” by Cutting Crew. I’m a little confused by this one. It sounds like the ghost of some guy who died in the barn is still able to enjoy mortal pleasures and is pretty persnickety about his condiment choices.

8. “Sweet dreams are made of cheese.” 

Frenchcheeses
Photo by Darren Colehill on Unsplash

The actual lyrics are “Sweet dreams are made of these” in the song “Sweet Dreams” by the Eurythmics. Still, I agree with this statement. I have a lot of sweet dreams about cheese.

9. “It’s too late to order fries.”

Frenchfries

This was heard instead of “It’s too late to apologize” in “Apologize” by OneRepublic. Isn’t it heartbreaking when you roll up to the drivethrough window only to realize the place is closed?Maybe the guy tried to order at Chik Fil A on a Sunday? (I think we could put together some sort of sandwich, side and beverage from the misheard lyrics in this list.)

10. “‘Til I hit the dumpster, hit the dumpster.”

dumpster
Photo by NeONBRAND on Unsplash

This was heard in Sia’s “Cheap Thrills” instead of “‘Til I hit the dance floor, hit the dance floor.” Well, she does sing about not needing a lot of cash in order to have a good time. Hitting a dumpster doesn’t cost much, but I’m not sure there’s a whole lot of thrill factor there either.

11. “Hold me closer, Tony Danza.”

balletdancer
Photo by Mirza Causevic on Unsplash

This was heard in place of “Hold me closer, tiny dancer,” in Elton John’s “Tiny Dancer.” Maybe this was misheard by someone with a celebrity crush?

12. “There’s a bathroom on the right.”

publicrestrooms
Photo by Juan Marin on Unsplash

This was heard in Creedence Clearwater Revival’s “Bad Moon Rising” instead of “There’s a bad moon on the rise.” Sometimes, it’s really handy to know there’s a bathroom nearby.

13. “And the toilet’s last cleaning.”

toiletcleaning
Photo by rawpixel on Unsplash

This was heard in the U.S. national anthem, “The Star Spangled Banner,” in place of “at the twilight’s last gleaming.” I sure hope the toilet is gleaming after its last cleaning.

What lyrics have you misheard?